Remember when I said that I didn’t have a million things to do? Ahahahahahahahahaha wasn’t that cute? I finally got my test scores back. They’re good. I’m pretty happy. I hope it’s enough.
I’m stuck on my personal statement, though. I’ve been working on it for months already, trying stuff, then other stuff. I’ve got a good beginning, I just don’t really know what all I should say. How do I wow these people and still get across all the things they want to know? How do I get across all the things they want to know without being boring?
People keep telling me that I’m such a good writer, and I usually believe that too. It’s been at the core of my identity my entire life. I think that makes it even more terrifying when I just can’t write something well.
I’m sure I’m over thinking it. I just need to crank it out and get to editing. But there’s so much hung up in this one little essay. My dreams are hanging on it. They can’t really be, that’s too dramatic. But for some people it’s all they’re really going to meet of me. And my reputation is a writer feels like its at stake. I can’t write a personal statement without writing about writing, it’s too personal; I can’t say that I’m a good writer and then write poorly. I’m psyching myself out, but I’m good at that too.