THE UNSLUT PROJECT: "See this dog? This is my lesbian lover."
July 26, 1998
Shauna’s party was a major disappointment. Nathan was going on vacation with his family, so he couldn’t go. Daniel was there and he was being super-funny as usual. He stole my sandal and hid it in the mailbox. [Like I said, super-funny.]
Louis was there, too. He is so annoying…
Just a reminder that middle school was not only awful, it was also completely fucking bizarre.
Alt text: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
We will hold the hands of sinners.: Between You and Me.
I.
“Is your name spelled with one n or two?”
We collided while climbing the
stairs at the same
time.
“Do you want one of my beers?”
Two chairs turned to face
each other, your hands on your
thighs, fingers tapping.
“Do you want to sleep out here, or in my room?”
The first kiss, your tongue was
curious, and your breath was
warm.
“Did you know William S. Burroughs shot his wife
while playing William Tell?”
We were walking into a restaurant and
you accidentally kicked my shin
when we sat down.
“Can I fuck you here?”
We were wet and the hot water was
running out and you came without
telling me first.
“Just calm down, I love you, okay?”
Taxis passed and the rain slapped
your face and I wanted to run
but I held your hand instead.
“I wish you’d stop acting so fucking crazy.”
I ripped every shirt off every hanger and
swung the front door wide open when
I left.
“I’d give anything for you to come back.”
I came back I came back I came back and
nothing changed at all except your hands
on me were never so soft.
II.
“Two n’s.”
Wobbly knees and shaking hands
and a smirk or two in
your direction.
“Do you like Brand New?”
I sipped on your cheap beer
and wondered what color
your eyes were exactly.
“Give me some blanket.”
I did not sleep that entire night
because I was afraid of closing my
eyes.
“Did you know Sylvia Plath killed herself with her
children asleep in the next room?”
You didn’t order anything and picked
all of the fries off of my
plate.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
You paid for the morning after pill
but I had to catch three buses
to get it.
“What did you say?”
I should have said I love you I love you
I love you and I should have kept
loving you.
“I wish you actually gave a fuck about me.”
I know where I went that night and I
know what I did and I don’t know
if I’d change it if I could.
“If I leave this time, I can’t come back.”
There are 842 miles between us
but the distance is not what
keeps us apart.
When you ask me to describe fear I say my mother
smelling vodka on my breath at seventeen. I say loss
is trauma stealing an entire month from my memories.
Superheroes always have broken hearts and tragic
back stories so maybe I’m doing OK. In my dreams we
are brave enough to leap tall buildings in a single
bound and see through walls and also never lie to
each other.
Promise me this: when you finally leave me, you’ll
get creative. Tell me I was more disappointing than
your childhood. Send me your bloody ear with a letter
saying “I’ve got to Gogh. You’re making me crazy.”
I am hard to love but know this much: you are the
only thing I like doing more than writing poems.
Website update!
Hey folks,
Just wanted to let you know that I’ve updated the list of Finished Projects and Projects in Beta. I’ve also created a page that compiles my poetry here.
-B
Read it all. You’ll be glad you did.
dark matter
tonight
in a starlit room
you were the interstellar
everything; omnipresent
in shadowsas sound, the exhibitionist
in dust danced off of a speaker -
wanting to be witnessedyou, the force between
I couldn’t see -
every beat
made me feel you.tidal.
vibration.
a knock-on,
perpetual.
That moment when you’re really close to done with an academic article and you stop thinking that it makes any sense at all. : /
